Once upon a time, there were three businesses. Each one had a recently hired staff member named Chris. At each company, Chris’ boss gave Chris a list to purchase. The list read: Juice, Milk, Water.
At company number one Chris, eager to make a good impression, raced to the store and was back with the items in less than 20 minutes. When Chris returned, the boss surveyed the bag and let out a disappointed sigh. “You idiot! Why did you buy grape juice?” As the boss pulled items from the bag, they banged their fist on the table. “And a gallon of whole milk? I only need a quart of 2 percent. Distilled water? What were you thinking? Can’t you people even do a simple job?” This was not the first time that Chris had heard complaints about employee performance in an angry or dismissive tone.
At company number two, Chris was also eager to please. The list seemed a tad vague, but the boss looked busy and Chris wasn’t sure it would be okay to interrupt. Chris decided to wing it and raced to the store. Upon Chris’s return the boss surveyed the bag. “I’m so sorry. My list wasn’t very clear. I should have told you. Fresh squeezed orange juice, a quart of 2 percent milk and regular water. In the future, that’s what I’ll want. Or I’ll give you a list that is more detailed.” Chris was embarrassed, at the mistake, but was glad to be appreciated for the effort. Chris felt that next time would go a lot better.
At company number three, Chris managed to catch the boss before leaving. “I was looking at this list and I have a few questions. What kind of juice? How much milk? Do you need drinking water, seltzer or distilled?” The boss replied, “Thank you so much for asking,” and outlined what they wanted in detail.
Company number one has a hostile culture. The boss assumed that Chris would know what the list meant. Then the boss was angry when Chris got Chris’s favorite items, not what the boss actually wanted. In a culture like this, Chris would have met the same kind of negative feedback, anger, and belittling when asking a question to clarify the list. The boss is not taking responsibility to make their expectations understood, and then blaming the “bad help” for screwing it up.
There is a pattern of anger, abusive or belittling comments and lack of respect for the staff. It is the repletion, the pattern of negative behavior, the micro-aggression that build up to make this a hostile culture.
The boss at company number two fell into the trap of thinking that the employee could read their mind, but realized that had they written a clear list, outlining what they actually needed, Chris would have done a good job. They took responsibility for being unclear and let Chris know what would be expected in the future. Not ideal, but certainly not hostile.
Company number three has an atmosphere where Chris felt asking for clarification was going to be okay. This willingness to provide clarity and direction is at the foundation of a functional work place culture. It is still possible for hostile elements to creep in, but it is much less likely.
One of the first steps to avoiding a hostile a culture is to define expectations by communicating clearly and encouraging staff to ask for clarification.
Worse than the unclear directive, is the boss knows what they don’t want, and often spends a lot of energy focusing on that, which is what ends up being foremost on the minds of employees. Instead of what the company really needs staff to do, they are focusing on what they should not be doing. There is no reward or acknowledgement for doing the right things. Employees are working out of fear of reprisal. Anytime fear is the foundation of behavior, the culture is likely to be hostile and can be toxic.
Miick founder, Rudy Miick says, “If we don’t establish what is expected, watch out. When you call me names, or belittle me, that’s hostile. Call me a name once, even if not hostile, trust or respect is lost. But if you consistently keep giving me what we’ll call “ambiguous lists” and expect me to guess what you mean, or translate them, and then get angry at me when I bring the wrong stuff, that’s hostile. Period, end of subject.
Harassment and “Hostile” is as simple as this little list. “Micro aggressions” add up. Do you have a hostile work environment by accident? Where you’re headed with harassment or a hostile work environment is a minimum quarter million-dollar lawsuit, likely closer to half a million. You’re done. If you don’t have a war chest, you’re done. You’re out of business.” Pay attention here.
Next Up: Diversity is an important foundation to a successful workplace culture.
